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Nip Tuck in minus 12 days.

Well after all that we've been through
Would you still call this love baby?
Cause love's the only proof
That the ugly could be beautiful

God knows I'm feeling spent
Though I've still got my money honey
Money's the revenge
Of the ugly on the beautiful

Well the drugs just ain't enough
Though I like the way they made us crazy
But love's the only drug
It turns the ugly into beautiful

And I can't tell you why
I'm still so much afraid of dying
Dying reconciles
The ugly with the beautiful

Though we've been burned by it
Let's still believe in love
Cause love's the greatest gift
Of the ugly to the beautiful

The Real Tuesday Weld // The Ugly and the Beautiful

Dear Everyone, Or Whoevers Listening

Dear A----:
I’m so sorry you got dragged into this, and I’m so sorry I had to tell them that we’d been drinking and that it was at your house. I didn’t want you or your parents to get in trouble, but that was a big factor in everything, the drinking. Thank you for not flipping out on me like Jess did, and your voicemail telling me you were proud and thinking I did the right thing brought me to tears because I know I’m going to lose friends over this and I really hoped that you would not be one of them. I love you and you’re an amazing, sweet girl that deserves so much better then Jordan. Thank you for talking to the cops as well, your story and point of view will probably help in my favor, another example of how this boy deserves what he’s getting.
Love, Cate.

Dear J---:
Suck my fucking non-existent cock for all I care right now.
Screw You, Cate.

Dear J-----:
I’m sorry your going to go to jail, I’m sorry this could ruin your life but you really really hurt me. Yeah I was forced to report this by my counselor. But I’m glad I did now, you raped me plain and simple and there is going to be a consequence, that’s how life works. So don’t try to call me, don’t send me messages pleading with me, there is nothing I can do; this is all out of my hands now. I’m sorry, and I know you are too. Or at least I hope you are, I know you’re a liar and a backstabber that manipulates people but I’d like to pretend you’re sincere about feeling bad. Get a good lawyer or something.

Dear Mom and Dad:
I love you.
Love, Cate.

Live Love Burn Die

** These Atreyu Lyrics♥

Will you still hold me, when you'll see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same, when you taste my victim's blood?
So Crimson and Red, I feel it flow from your lips.
My heart is dead and so are you. The Crimson

Have you ever cried so hard?
Baby you just died Right Side of the Bed

There she goes again
Another masquerade in false circumstance Right Side of the Bed

I'm . holding . your . heart . in . my . hand .
The . reason . it . still . beats . Corseting

I'm sorry, I don't think it's going to be okay this time
My heart has skipped its final beat
It's beating me down onto the floor
That must mean that the pills are working
The glass isn't half empty this time
I smashed it to the ground a long long time ago
It shattered when it fell and I broke to pieces
Each shard's another reason, another way to give up

This skin is so tight that the air can't reach my brain
There is nothing telling my heart to beat any faster
To let me scream for help, I will never give up
I will never take the easy way out

This is life
This is struggle
This is love
This is warFive Vicodin Chased With a Shot of Clarity

You took me home
I drank too much
Cause of you my liver turns to dust
Cold rust takes cold creeping cool pain
Do you understand what I need?

Suck me down, its time rock and roll
Lets hit the bar, lets loose control
One false move you took me home
One false move your all alone

But it looks so good and it feels so nice
I've paid my price
I'll cut you out just to hear you scream,
Get away from me. Ex's and Oh's

You Put A Bullet In My Head
Turned Black Thoughts To Red
This Could All End In TragedyUntitled Finale

When You Kiss Me
Do You Still Taste, Are
Are, You Thinking Of, Are You Thinking Of Me
With Your Lips Pressed Tightly Up Against His Head
Does Your Body Still Scream My Name ?

Can You Take It While I Fake It Our Sick Story (Thus Far)

It's so hard to see when your eyes are rolling in the back of your head
It's even harder to speak when everything you say just comes out wrong ..

You would rather bleed than be without her
Gone are the tender whispers dancing in your ears
Replaced with lackluster memories you cry, your screams play in your empty room ..
Aint Love Grand

Crystal clear I see the rose is frail,
The thorns hid easily in its beauty
Tulips Are Better

If I gave you pretty enough words.
Could you paint a picture of us that works?

.. Then I'll show you that place in my chest where my heart still tries to beat ..

Live Love Burn Die Lipgloss and Black

&& Lyrics

I'm hooked, for real.
Hey kid, you've got a lot of potential but I think its time to move up, so go on and blow us away with your sound.
Now you're everything that we've come to love, you taught us to move so we'll show it off, just drop us the beat.

Here's to the fast times, the times we felt alive, to all the nights that we forgot to get back home.

Stay seventeen, the party scene has got the best of me and you, we've got to let this go.

Drink up last call before the sunrise sets the scene of empty bottles, heavy hearts, the memories of broken dreams.
We were so tired yet so alive, wrapped up in lies like sheets of another one night stand, you know you left the girl with nothing but the sunrise through the window pane, where tired eyes will close.

Stay seventeen, the party scene has got the best of me and you, we've got to let this go.

I know she hopes I choke on this last drink, drop dead before my influence gets to her head.
She said, "I'll love you forever, or find something better. It's all just the same as when we sleep together. We wake up with headaches, and trouble remembering what went wrong..."

Stay seventeen, the party scene has got the best of me and you, we've got to let this go.

** All Time Low

(( These lyrics caught my eye in life_is_a_song. Im not very active there though. But Oh the joys of teenage "passion" for more then just life.))

"Fuck the Future and Fight the Past"

Dear Jordan

You tell us "not to think about it" Or that its okay. Butmost importantly you told Allie that, and much more. Just to get in her pants.  

Yes we are only young once and yes life is short so love it. But No dont pressure my friend into having sex with you. That was her virginity too. I hope you dont hurt her or you will have a bunch of angry girls after you and your balls. 

Boys like you that dont respect girls and there decisions are cheap and over rated. You remind me of Kevin in so many ways. And that is in no way a compliment. 

Oh and guess what, not everyone loves you. Your not some sex symbol, your not our hero. You are a cocky arrogent asshole. And if it wasen't for my friends and the cool kids you have as friends I wouldn't even give you the time of day. You remind me of everything I hate about guys.  (besides the heartache ect.)

Not all men are like you of course.  Thank god.

 I hope she talks to you soon and tells you exactly how shes feeling, becuase she deserves sooo much better then you.


& Tell yourself you'll be the death of me...

((Dear Hair))
Thanks for turning out okay.

((Dear Eyebrow Piercing))
Dont get infected and look good once your healed por favor.

((Dear Room))
Why are you being so hotttt??? ughhhh. I feel like im being smothered.

((Dear Anyone))
I did not have sex with him!! ahh.
I hate rumors. Hate em.  They dont really bother me that much, its just the fact that people still feel the need to do what they do best...suck... 

And with everything thats been going on in my group of friends as of late. drama drama, he said she said. Honestly how about everyone gets drunk and we all sit in a room and cry and tell our deepest darkest secrets. Then maybe some people would come to there senses and then maybe some people would get over themselves.

Sigh just an idea.


Dear New Journal / Community thing:

I think im going to use you more then unsent letters. Yes I write unsent letters but I dont much like putting them all out there. And if I write here instead then I can look back and ect. ect.
Soo dont be lame?

Love, Cate.


Confessions Of a Teenage Heart

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August 2006